How did I get here?
Hey there love, I’m Ashley.
I’m a life and self-love coach who helps women battling self-sabotage transform their negative thoughts and false beliefs into a life aligned in truth and healing through self-love.
Like you, I’ve also had some pretty self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. I spent nearly a decade of my young life living in self-induced hatred, unhappiness, and isolation. Clinging onto self-doubt and comparison was my way of playing small, allowing my false beliefs to really take over my life.
I never felt good enough. I would do anything and everything to fit in with the crowd in hopes of making some friends, but in doing so I fell into people-pleaser syndrome. I thought that making friends would bring me happiness, but since people weren’t seeing the real me, I didn’t make the friendships I had been seeking and longing for.
Since my people-pleasing tactics to make friends didn’t work, I felt so alone and I feared being judged. The thought that there must be something wrong with me put me into a negative spiral of deeper self-hate. I felt I had no friends and no chance in a romantic relationship because I was “fat, weird, and ugly”. Living in these beliefs, my life continued to align with those outcomes because I felt bad for myself. I believed I was a victim and life was so unfair - life was out to get me and things would never change.
High school was rough, college was dreadful. I nearly dropped out of college my sophomore year because the constant negative thoughts I held about myself in turn caused those thoughts to become a reality. So often I would look in the mirror and tell myself, “I hate you. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you be better?”
After graduation I got so tired of hating myself and knew it was time to do the work to improve my life. Once I started showing up for myself, so many shifts began to happen. I started to realize that I was the only one getting in my own way, and that none of the negative beliefs I had told myself time and time again were in fact true.
My inner mean girl, ego, negative self-talk, tested me hardcore. It feels good to be out of that fallacious drama I lived day in and day out. I discovered that the way for me to love my life and for life to love me back was all rooted in first loving myself.
Of course my mind doesn’t completely let go of all of the false beliefs I’ve had about myself for so many years, but now I realize those beliefs are not true: I decide what is true about me.
And with owning my truth, I now love me instead of hate me.
That’s the thing about self-love, it’s vital in order for you to love your life. You’re the only you that will ever be you and have forever, so embrace it by doing those things you enjoy and loving yourself fully!
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